28 August, 2012

| a girl named hope |

        It is curious, how things always manage to come to me when I need them | it most.
Never when I want. Only when there is a true .need.
I could list countless examples, each with a varying degree of importance.
Now is not that time, however.
Now, it is hope that I am most concerned with.
The cruelest of mistresses; an elegant, cold-hearted whore {hope is}
I could even go so far as to say, that I hate hope.
Nothing good .ever. comes of hope, in my opinion.
To hope, is to segue into disappointment.
or maybe that is simply my life
But I digress
I was having this very conversation with someone yesterday -
        We had a definite difference of opinion of what it was to 'hope'
The conclusion of that exchange brought about a slight admission of hope on my part (though against my better judgement)
I am human, after all.

Today in class, out of nowhere, the professor stated
"...you wouldn't wait, if you didn't hope..."
He had no idea, how much I needed to hear those .words.

Maybe it wasn't completely 'out of nowhere' ... I was running on about four hours of sleep, and would be lying if I claimed total and complete, coherent attention. On the other hand, I have no idea how hope could | would contextually make sense in any Spanish 103 lecture.

Here I am:
............. hoping
Maybe this time will be different.
            Maybe, just maybe, hope will not immediately  =  disappointment.
Or, maybe it will.
I suppose that is the risk one accepts, in following their heart instead of their head.


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